you are viewing archives from 2004

notes from the emmys

The Emmys were last night. Or, I should say, the Creative Arts Emmys were last night. This is an important distinction to make. The Creative Arts Emmys cover the casting directors, the cinematographers, the sound editors, television animation and kids’ primetime programming. They also cover guest actors in a comedy or drama series to give them some pizzazz. Of course, once again, Lizzie McGuire did not win. How can a show about a 13 year old girl facing the trials and tribulation of tween life win when she’s up against kids with face cancer? But I digress. Some observations:

The Creative Arts Emmys are like the Senior Awards Banquet in high school. Same ill-fitting dresses, same bad hair, same raucous screaming when your name is announced. However, there is slightly better food after the ceremony and you don’t have to sneak any liquor from your parents’ liquor cabinet.

And, like any Awards show, the Creative Arts Emmys are dreadfully, dreadfully boring. When the Sixth Certificate for Excellence in Engineering was announced, I leaned over to my friend S. and hissed, kill me.

Anyone who promised to ignore their acceptance speech scribbled on a mile-long piece of paper and keep it short will be twice as long as anyone else.

Sharon Stone looks good in person. She is also completely batshit crazy. The nearly-four-hour-ceremony was worth it when La Stone got up to accept her Emmy for her work in the practice, citing that she was most appreciative that she was being recognized for the fact that God speaks through her with her acting. No, this isn’t a job; it’s a chance to share my ‘beingness’ with the world. I wonder how God felt about full frontal in Basic Instinct? Also, she doesn't do this for the hefty paycheck, or the awards - she does it for the sound guy who has to work 19 hour days, just like her. Although my guess is that seven of her 19 hour days are spent in her cushy trailer, while the sound guy’s 19 hour days are spent hunched over a console or with his hands above his head holding the boom mike. She also does it for the people in the malls who approach her to tell her that they love her and her work. I didn’t know Sharon shopped at the Wal-Mart.

Genndy Tartakovsky, creator of Dexter’s Lab (and winner for Samurai Jack and The Clone Wars) is well deserving of every award that he gets, as his Emmy was received directly after Miss Stone's, and his speech opened with “I want to say everything Sharon Stone just said.”

Cloris Leachman has a young male escort. Go Cloris! However, he also abandoned her for a good part of the dinner following the ceremony. Note to self: yes, you should have asked Miss Leachman if she wanted company. It would have made a good story.

Teller of Penn and Teller speaks off-camera. He also lit the microphone on fire by accident and taught us the sekrits of magic!Ha!

I am strangely attracted to Bradley Whitford, who would have given out our Emmy should we have won. Yes, this confuses even me.

The Queer Eye guys are five times as fabulous in person.

So that’s it, my pets, the Creative Arts Emmys in a nutshell. I leaned over to my friend S. and told her we’ve got all the time in the world to win one. Hell, Shatner got his first Emmy last night. Ten years ago, I was living at my Aunt and Uncle’s in Santa Barbara, scouring the Hollywood Reporter and Variety for a job, any job. And now my slightly-smaller ass was in Aisle C row 6 seat 18 at the Shrine Auditorium, watching people clutch awards and break down crying.

What a long strange trip it’s been.